The Blank space theory

Have you heard of the blank space theory?

Okay, I made it up.

But it comes from over 30 years of working with horses and noticing patterns between Horse and Rider.

I'd go as far to say this applies to any human-to-human interaction.

There was something about this Stallion.

He was moving well and seemed to be behaving well—but his Rider felt that something was just wrong.

She noticed over the past six months that his performance hit a plateau.

Having owned him for three years now, she knew something was wrong but couldn't find the words to explain it.

The past vetting—the Physio gave him a clean bill of health.

The more I watched his behaviour and listened to the Owner, I could feel what she meant.

Instead of jumping straight into more tests, I just observed.

Which meant the whole arena went silent.

One of the observers afterward came up to me and said, "I've got to say, I found that space—the way no one said anything for what felt like forever—extremely uncomfortable."

But then she said, "As we all observed, the power was in the blank space."

Because when we all went quiet and became observers, we started questioning our minds and switched to curiosity.

When you switch to this frame of thinking, you see things differently.

And what's even better is the Horse picks up on it.

Recognising that we've started waiting, listening, instead of questioning and adding pressure.

Surely this is the basis for any communication?

Surely for any partnership, both parties must feel heard, seen, and understood?

After 10 minutes of blank space—pause with no one speaking—something shifted in the Stallion.

The Rider messaged me two weeks later and sent this:

"I can't thank you enough—I've got my boy back. He's better than ever. He knows that I love him. However, the lessons I learned from your workshop about how to become a Horse Listener has changed mine and my Horse's relationship forever. Thank you."